Come on!

Check out this warning:

NOTE: This book contains explicit language, sexual content, slightly inappropriate humor and is recommended for mature audiences who like that sorta thing. This book is also a less explicit version of Ian Dalton’s novel Inappropriate Thoughts. For more information, please see Luke Young’s Amazon author page.

Friends with Partial Benefits

You read this at the end of the description of a book you’re thinking of downloading (for free) on Amazon. It’s under Romance, Humour. You download the book. You start reading it and get to a sex scene. 

Are you surprised? Are you shocked? It says so right there: “explicit language, sexual content”. 

So of course you run to your keyboard and write a one-star review about it being porn and how you weren’t aware of what you were going to read (!) and of course insult the author. 

Mature. Really mature.

What was I thinking???

I signed up to write a story based on a photo in my Goodreads discussion group MM Romance.

What was I thinking?

What possessed me to do something so stupid as to think I could write a story? I’m such a fool.

This poor girl picked the photo and wrote a preamble for the (stupid: me) author who would pick her photo for the challenge.

I must have had low blood sugar or sniffed too much nail polish or something that night to think I could do this when I clicked on the photo.

I can’t let her down. If there was no one in particular involved, I’d give up. I’d write to them right now and say I was out of my mind blablabla.

I can’t do that to the photo girl. When people put up photos with their preambles they’re all happy when someone picks them.

Fuck.

I guess I’ll have to try.

Gulp. 

Quick question to homophobes:

If men weren’t meant to be gay, why are they built so they get pleasure from their prostate gland? ‘Cause women don’t have the gear to get in there, folks…

Just sayin’…

I’ve done it again

I could cry. I finished another book series. I loved it. I miss the characters already and my tablet is still hot. Five books of pure bliss.

When I started high school, I discovered the school library had a whole bunch of books by a lady named Agatha Christie. I devoured them. All. I could never guess who the murderer was. The best one? The Murder of Roger Akroyd. A classic. Genius.

After that, I was hooked on mysteries.  P.D. James, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (meh), then a whole bunch of more contemporary writers and more mysteries. No one was ever as good as Agatha Christie to keep you guessing until the end.

This series wasn’t like Agatha either. I usually guessed by 70%-80% of the books who had done it, or had a pretty good idea. Only one blew me away.

But I didn’t care.

The romance between the bookshop owner and the cop/PI was what got me.

It spans on all five books and couldn’t have  been written better. It was FABULOUS. Would they? Wouldn’t they? Finally? No? What the fuck do you mean he’s getting married? Aaarrrgghhh!!!! Damn you author! I hate you! Okay, I don’t hate you anymore.  What????? You had to throw that in there? Just to fuck things up??? I’m going to die….. Oh. Okay. I feel better now. Thanks.

Each book has its own murder to be solved. But each book is just a continuation in the long and peppered-with-angst love story. What a romance. Wow.

Such deep, intelligent characters. I’ll miss them.

I’ve done this to myself again. I’ve gotten deeply sucked in a good series and now will miss the characters I’ve been living with for the past sixteen days.

I know I’ll do it again too.

To read and weep is better than not to have read at all. (Who said that?)

 

Thanks, Josh.

How addicted are you when…

You’re afraid of reading the 8th book of a series because people have written bad reviews on it?

I’m so afraid of being disappointed and heartbroken that I don’t wanna read it. I will. Of course I will. But with just one eye…

See, people have written that the story is full of new characters and the two main characters (MC’s) are not the focal point of this book.

Well, I happen to miss these two MC’s and was sooooooo looking forward to reading book 8 because I would reconnect with them and love them and bask in their glory and live vicariously (precariously?) through their new adventure with them that I’m kinda not looking forward to reading it now….

The power of the review.

Be careful when you leave one, guys. Those suckers are potent.

I just read an encouraging one that says that, although the series MC’s aren’t the main characters in this one, it’s a good transition to maybe the end of their story and the beginning of a new one.

Sad but true. It’s gotta end someday, right?

(Sobs on her keyboard as she writes this post….)

 

Cold Turkey

Off meds as of today – had to quit Strattera or jump off a bridge. Quit Strattera a couple of weeks ago. Was back on Vyvanse because the doctor is away until the 18th and didn’t want to prescribe anything else with unknown side effects without proper monitoring.

Turns out the heavy acne problem around Christmas was not stress but in fact Vyvanse side effect No. 2987450. So painful it gives me headaches. Quit that today.

Will be going cold turkey for a week. Will I still be writing? Will I get out of bed? Will I cry for no apparent reason like today?

Stay tuned for the fun, folks.

Borderlines have more fun

A borderline personality disorder may be the best personality disorder to have.

I’m not kidding.

When you’re borderline, your emotions go from zero to sixty in a second. You feel everything more. Pain, suffering, sadness, angst, but also happiness, giddiness, surprise, love.

And you laugh louder and longer than anyone.

Plus you’re a cheap date when it comes to feeling the effects of drugs and alcohol.

It’s not great when side effects from meds make you want to jump in front of a train but on the plus side, you need small dosages of mental health meds to get a good reaction too when they work in your favour.

There’s always a plus side to everything, right? Even mental disorders. 🙂

Bucket list

In no particular order:

1. Sing “Islands in the Stream” on karaoke with one or a combination of Misteur Valaire.

2. Dance a slow with my husband in a public place, like a disco or something (instead of the kitchen for once).

3. Go to Italy.

4. Learn to play the piano again.

5. Sing a blues song while my husband is playing the guitar. Either a song we’ll write together or another one. There are so many songs I hear that I wish I could sing to him. 

6. Publish a book.

7. Write letters to my kids. 

Funny how some of these are singing and dancing. You’d think I’d have had time in my life to dance enough but no. And I don’t sing. Well, I think I can carry a tune but have absolutely no confidence in myself to go for it. I know the guys in Misteur Valaire wouldn’t mind if I sang off key with them because they’re just the nicest bunch of guys you could meet, but singing with my husband surprisingly stresses me more. It’s also less likely to happen than singing with Misteur Valaire and that’ll happen when pigs fly, so I should be alright.

As for dancing a slow with my husband, I’ve always said and will say again: if I could change one thing about him, it would not be the way he farts from just drinking water (let alone consuming any type of food), the way he has absolutely no tact sometimes and will say whatever comes to mind without any filter, or that he is the only person who doesn’t laugh easily at my jokes. It would be that he doesn’t dance. I cannot tell you how much I would pay, even sell myself, to have a fairy godmother or even a mediocre witch wave a wand or cast a spell to make this guy want to dance. 

*Sigh

Oh well. I sometimes have strange, vivid dreams. You never know, maybe one of them will be us dancing together. I can only wish.

8. Get over the fact that my husband will never dance with me.